The 'Healthy' Girl Illusion: My Journey through Identity Struggles and Growth
Today, I want to delve into my journey to discovering balance, health, and the unexpected challenges behind the "healthy girl" label I was often given.
Everyone around me—family, friends, even acquaintances—saw me as this beacon of health. Yet, I did not feel that way and I was wrestling with a host of health issues. My stomach constantly ached and was bloated, skin filled with relentless acne, persistent anxiety, energy slumps, painful periods, and unbearable acid reflux. I was ticking off all the symptoms' boxes, questioning why I felt this way despite being labeled "healthy".
At times, I found myself in a peculiar spot—I was labeled as the "healthy" girl, yet internally, I battled with relentless symptoms. Sometimes, I wondered if others experienced these issues but on a grander scale, or if I was an expert at putting up a front. Thoughts incessantly raced through my mind: "Maybe I should amp up my workouts, cut down on meals, test the latest diet trend, or experiment with pricey skincare products." The cycle of self-reflection seemed never-ending.
It was challenging to relate to this “healthy girl” label while struggling with numerous symptoms and feeling constantly uncomfortable.
In April 2023, I took a deep dive and ran the five foundational labs I offer in the Total Body Wellness program. The results were eye-opening—I finally felt understood. The woman in those results reflected my struggles and I could finally identify with something. She had 26 food sensitivities, lacked energy-producing hormones, imbalanced sex hormones, an overactive immune system, poor nutrient absorption, a congested liver, leaky gut, serious gut dysbiosis, bad gluten sensitivity, and many more hiccups that made perfect sense.
Rather than feeling scared, I felt validated! It was a pivotal moment for me—realizing that my journey was about to take a positive turn. A personalized plan was charted out, and I committed to the grind. Over 100 days later, I felt an immense improvement in my overall well-being.
However, when I shared my results and progress, the common response was, "But you're so healthy!" To the outside world, I seemed like the picture of health. But here's the deal: I wasn't. And here’s why:
Firstly, the pressure I placed on myself to embody the perfect definition of health was immense. Eating right and staying active are great, but my pursuit of this ideal became an unhealthy obsession and led to chronic stress. My body was signaling SOS, but I was too caught up to notice.
Let's rewind to college and early post-college days. I was a workout fiend. I lived for it. From a young age, I found my love and passion for working out. Somewhere along the journey, I took it way too far. My exercise regimen was off the charts—early mornings, late nights, relentless intensity. Yoga was off the table because it wasn't sweaty enough! Working at Orange Theory only fueled this intense workout culture. Taking a class during, before, or after my 4 AM shift nearly 5 days a week. If you have taken a class you know how intense they can be (for better or worse).
On top of that, my eating habits were restrictive—egg whites, chicken, salads, and very few calories in general. I would not touch a slice of bread or piece of cake unless late-night munchies hit and food at 2 AM does not count, right? But during the day, it was all about strict calorie counting, making it okay for those midnight cravings.
Sleep? Didn’t know her. College and post-college nights were fueled by deadlines, partying, late-night TV binges, and round-the-clock work commitments. 7 AM work calls with our engineering team in India? No problem! Just wake up at 5 AM get to the gym by 5:30 AM and rush to work! Sleep was not a priority nor did I know it should be.
Lastly, I felt disconnected from something greater than myself, unsure of my passions, and lacking a sense of belonging. I was fortunate to begin an internship during my final year in college, receiving an immediate full-time job offer, and spending six years working alongside an exceptional team. I acknowledge the immense luck I had, experiencing remarkable highs but also enduring some significant lows. It took me a while to find my calling in women’s health coaching and to take the leap of faith. This realization and this leap marked a turning point in my journey to healing.
Intense working out, restricting my calories and nutrient intake, and relentless commitment to my job were all the habits that were reinforced every time someone called me the “healthy girl”.
Reflecting back, I lacked balance, intuition, and grace—three things that I hold close to my heart as part of the pillars of LIVE BIG. More balance might've meant swapping intense workouts for gentler practices. Listening to my intuition would've made me realize sooner that my symptoms weren't normal and my chosen job was not aligned with my passion. And offering myself grace would've added a touch of self-love and acceptance to my health journey.
Although I realize this journey is far from finished, I embrace the label of the "healthy girl" not because I perceive myself as such, but because it resonates with my passion and reminds me to check in with myself. I aim to inspire and empower others while granting everyone the freedom to define what "healthy" means for them - although you don’t need my permission.
With love and support,
Isabella
